Scare of a Lifetime

Received this email from my wife when I woke up this morning. She sent it at 4:39 AM. Archiving it here because she doesn’t deserve to feel like this and like I said to her in my response… this was tough to read. I’m glad she sent it.

Dear Greg

I just had the most horrible experience

I woke up and was in a panic, heart racing.

Last night I had to turn my machine up very loud so I couldn’t hear your loud snoring everyone in the house heard your loud snoring. So when I woke up just now for some reason, I didn’t hear anything and I turned down my sound machine. I didn’t hear anything. I turned off my sound machine. I didn’t hear anything. So then that’s when my heart started racing and I worried that you had died. It scares me to even write these words.

I slowly made my way to your bed, fearing to all fear what I might find. I thought about G’s senior year and how he wouldn’t be able to play his basketball season if his dad had just died.  I thought about L and Cub Scouts and his play and he wouldn’t be able to do them. C and his good grades would be no longer. What you’re doing, affects all of us and so help me God if you leave me and the boys on our own, causing our life to be over as we know it.  We only have one life. Do you really want to be in the ground so soon? I am truly truly worried about you and I do not want to find you like that. And I felt bad about what I said to you last night that you don’t deserve me. And that would be our last words and I had wished so badly that I could give you a hug and tell you that I love you and that you are the world to me.  Please I’m begging you before it’s too late.

And now I’m crying.