238 – Getting Angry At Myself

I posted this note this morning on an Internet Fast Food Quit forum. Seemed appropriate for here as well.

I’m back… with my tail firmly tucked between my legs. I’m fat and I fucking hate it. Hit the scale this AM at 238. I’ve always been “big boned” but the fact that my quit weight was 220 and I’ve been carrying nearly 20 lbs extra for nearly 8 years now fucking sucks. Not only that, but 220 is really heavier than I should be. I really am striving for the 200 lb mark. I really don’t eat all that poorly at lunch or when I’m at home. I’ve had a habit of stopping at McDonalds on the way to work for 3 Sausage McMuffins not every day, but damn close to it. And then I’ll stop a couple of nights a week on the way home for a couple of burgers. I don’t eat the bun, cause in my fucked up mind its the BREAD that’s bad for me. What an asshole. Drove by McDonald’s on the way to work this AM and gave those assholes the finger. Plan on doing the same thing tonight. I’ve decided that I finally need to really tackle my weight loss the same way that I did my quit those 8 years ago. One day at a time. Sorry for the bitchy rant… I’ll be quiet tomorrow. Proud to be here with you fine folks.