271.5 – Two Weeks To Flatten My Curves

All “flatten the curve” jokes aside… it’s time for me to kick this shit into high gear. I’m sick of how I look. I’m sick of how I feel. I’m sick of my wife bitching at me. I’m sick of wearing a C-PAP machine. I’m sick of sleeping in the other room.

Had a Council meeting last night and went to El Chile for dinner and drinks. Had a shot and three beers which is pretty typical. I’m slowly coming to the realization that alcohol is poison. No… I’ve come to that realization long ago. I’m slowing coming to the realization that I need to do something about it. So, I’m starting out small. 14 days. That’s the time between yesterday and my next Council meeting. I’m going to try and go alcohol free for that stretch. And then I’ll re-evaluate.

I fully realize this is addict speak… and even as I type it, it kills me to see it being written.

Additionally, I need to stop eating like an asshole. If I’m going to go carnivore then I need to go carnivore. If I’m going to go vegetarian or vegan than I need to do that. But I can’t keep going back and forth.

I’m hoping, and praying that this is the start of something beautiful, but the addict in me knows that I can’t ‘hope’ and ‘pray’ my way to a new me.